Lifestyle

Up In: Jonny Moseley

The Winter Olympics kick off February 10th. To gear up, we talked to gold medalist Jonny Moseley about The Games, former communists, the deal with Bode Miller, and obese men tumbling to their doom

So, what are we supposed to watch this Olympics?
Well, I'll be watching the freestyle moguls, and the downhill's going to be interesting with Bode and Daron [Rahlves]. With Shaun White, the halfpipe's going to be sick too.
Right. Anyway, what event has the most potential for spectacular crashes?
The downhill, no doubt. You're guaranteed to see a good NASCAR-style wreck. Although border cross can be more interesting -- you've got four snowboarders competing at once, and so guys take each other out.
Is there any particular Olympic sport that produces more sluts?
Loose chicks? I'd definitely say the skiing/snowboarding crew are the ones to just shack up with. They're more reckless. For the long-term, probably biathlon, or cross country. There's a reverse correlation between the duration of the event and the sluttiness of the girl.
Which national team has the reputation for being the biggest dicks?
The French. Hands down. It's weird, but of all the countries, they speak the least English -- or at least they pretend they can't.
If you got in a drunken brawl with the French, which national team would you want backing you up?
The Russians. The pre-Putin generation guys really like fighting. They grew up when you could bribe your way out of anything, so they have no conception of law and order.
Russians are scary. Speaking of drunk, do you think Bode Miller will be helped or hurt in the long run by his comments on "60 Minutes"?
At some point I think it will catch up with him. I don't think he's doing anything erratic, but perception is reality, and it'll probably limit his marketability. Then again, if he never crosses into anything illegal, he might get more fame, more press and benefit even more.
But it's unfair to paint the guy as a lush, since he's probably not doing anything other guys his age wouldn't do...
Yeah. Exactly. I mean, the fact that he goes out and parties and races the next day hung over, it's not normal, but he's just talking about a couple instances. At the same time, why is he even talking about it? Is he trying to brag? It's kind of stupid.
More importantly, do you think you're a better skier?
I'd kick his ass.
Do you think a 450lb man could do one of your patented "dinner roll" maneuvers?
Uh... like Bam Margera's dad or somebody? I dunno. I guess if you tossed him off a cliff he'd probably end up doing one at some point.
Sweet -- we'll get right on that. So are you sorry that you're not involved this year?
Oh yeah, it sucks not being able to compete. It'll pass, but every Olympics my entire life I'll probably wish I was there. So yeah, I mean, I wish I was competing for sure.
Hosting "The Gauntlet" for MTV was a pretty great retirement gig. Who was the best athlete on the show?
There were some good ones -- I was impressed. But you know who's got the most skill, talent, brains, the whole nine yards? That Jamie guy [from "Real World New Orleans"]. I don't know how he's doing this time around, but he dominated when I did it.
It sounds like you really liked that Jamie guy. Did you take him skiing down Brokeback Mountain?
I don't have a response for that one. Nothing.