Air Combat Flying Adventures

At points in your childhood, your obsession with Top Gun threatened to eclipse even your pursuit of feeling boobs. Now that you're almost tiring of the latter, it's your turn to buzz the tower at Air Combat Flying Adventures

Located in deepest, darkest O.C., Air Combat gives civies a chance at genuine air-to-air dogfighting, without the nuisance of going to war. Their one-day beginner course starts with an hour of on-ground training, covering everything from basic flight logistics and tactical maneuvering, to techniques for struggling hilariously into your flight suit. Once airborne, the instructor lets you control the single-prop Marshall SF260 an alarming 90% of the time on your hour-long mission. The actual dogfights are mano-a-mano deathmatches that start with a neutral in-air pass-by, include evasive tactics like high and low yo-yos and lead and lag pursuits, and end in electronically measured "Deaths" -- announced by smoke trail special effects nearly as amazing as those that make Tom Cruise look not short

In-air cameras capture all the action, meaning when it's over you get to take your airborne adventure home -- a DVD that'll represent the ultimate realization of your dreams, as soon as you splice in footage of Kelly McGillis's rack.