Food & Drink

Yummy Bartenders

Hosting cocktails at home can make you seem sophisticated, but it deprives your guests of the finest component of going out for drinks: the hot, unattainable bartender. Remedy that by hiring from Yummy Bartenders. Yummy Bartenders' mission is to send beautiful barmaids to the homes of the pre-drunken men who love them. Though smokingness is obviously a prerequisite, quality assurance on other skills is rigorous: each 'tender must have 2 years experience, and be able to execute 25 different drinks flawlessly and briskly. Just check the website, browse the headshots, and choose which girl'll be slinging everything from White Russians to well-poured beers -- which in your house is any not spilled all over the bed. Naturally, you provide the booze (or pay a surcharge for her to bring it), but your Yum'll come packing all the necessary accoutrements: shakers, strainers, scoops, wine keys, mace, etc. The only rub'll be when you discover that, now that you've finally lured one into your lair, your odds of bedding a hot bartender are still nonexistent.