Girlfriend trips are a grim study in compromise: she relaxes with cucumber eyes, while you watch perplexing foreign game-shows and dream of the hilarious pals you'd make during a margarita-induced jail stint. Split the difference at the just-opened Hacienda San Angel
The HSA's a casually opulent getaway that she'll dig for its secret, side-street privacy, even as it facilitates your public drunkenness by being a three-minute walk off Puerto Vallerta's raucous strip. Originally four separate Mexican villas, extensive demolition has yielded 14 regally luxurious suites in a layout labyrinthine enough to confuse Jareth the Goblin King. Amenities include fountain'd pools, in-room massages, city/wildlife tours, and a spacious dining patio, on which to grub on fare like Herb Encrusted Rack of Lamb or Celestial Seafood Pasta -- loaded with shrimp, octopus, white fish, and scallops, it's an edible tribute to the ocean's rich pageant of killable deliciousness
When romantic indulgence becomes cloying, walk the few short blocks to the dance clubs, booze-lounges, and yard-tall-margariteries favored by whistle-blasting, bandeleroed shot girls so irresistible, odds are it'll be 25-40 years before you're faced with another girlfriend trip.