St Patrick's Day Pub Crawl

St Patrick's day starts with poisoning yourself on green beer in a fetid dive jammed with bellicose firemen, and then goes downhill from there. Reach for something grander with the Queen Mary St. Patrick's Day Pub Crawl.Starting (and ending) at the enormo-ship-cum-hotel, this pub crawl's got all the amenities you'd expect on a holiday honoring a saint: alcohol, fried food, and midgets. The rampage begins when a double-decker bus picks you and 200 of your closest friends up at the Queen Mary, then shuttles you among 45-minute stops at four traditional Irish pubs, where you'll throw back a free beer, gorge on finger-food, and sing songs about blarney stones. Should you find you're seeing leprechauns, never fear: chances are you're just feasting your glassy eyes on Jackass star Wee-Man, who will merrily revel with you to live Irish music, then merrily vomit on your free promotional t-shirt. Your final drink'll be from the observation deck of the Queen; since chances are slim that you live within stumbling distance, the hotel's offering a special $119.00 rate if you say the password "pub". Once in bed, thank St. P that you didn't waste your day on traditional Irish devolution -- instead opting for a very big ship, or the very wee man currently spooning your very big belly.