Get yer ears lowered by a sexy lady

Chances are, the last time you got a haircut from a sloe-eyed, Hootersesque biscuit while drinking beer, you suddenly woke up to find you'd eaten your pillow. Get ready for reality: this week, Major League Trim celebrates its one year anniversary

Not just another guy-salon, MLT is a chopshop laser-focused on mannish needs: each seat boasts its own flat-screen, and the whole wi-fi'd shop's strewn with men's mags -- for a nourishing dose of softcore before a vicious shampoo/conditioner cycle. Most importantly, every barberess is a hot-yet-licensed professional (but unlike the pro you wish she was, her business stops with your head). Cuts range from $25-$50 -- boob grazes are free but subject to the hairdresser's discretion

MLT also boasts a private room, for the stuff "you don't want to do in front of other men" -- which we take to mean getting waxed or tearily watching Hugh Grant movies. Whatever your grooming needs, make an appointment today -- so you can celebrate their anniversary the way you do that of your relationship: dreaming of professional trim.