V-Day prix fixes are designed for schmucks; since you're not Paul Rudd in a movie nobody saw, we put together a list of romance-ready spots serving blessedly a la carte. Now go get laid.
Asia De Cuba (Mondrian Hotel: 1100 West Ave/11th St; South Beach; 305.514.1940) Watch the sun set over Biscayne Bay and enjoy Asia's shareable Latin/Asian menu, with numbers like honey rhum-glazed pot roast of pork with fried plantains, plus cocktails like the ginger-infused vodka Samurai Cooler, but who can blame you...dude's a samurai!
Reserve space at OpenTable.com
Anise (620 NE 78th St (just east of Biscayne); 305.758.2929) Leverage Anise's serene Little River digs and flickering candlelight to hide your flaws. Sometime during your meal, the owner'll come over and read your fortunes from the patterns left on the coffee cups, so hopefully he sees the rest of night being Splenda'd.
Plan your Greek route to romance, at AniseTaverna.com
Il Gabbiano (325 S Biscayne Blvd; Downtown; 305.373.0063) The top-notch Downtown Italian's swank patio at the mouth of the Miami River is a perfect setting for astutely commenting on the finer points of their Branzino al Forno and a dozen veal iterations, such as saltimbocca with prosciutto and sage, a seasoning that's great as long as it's not on (the) Dolphins.
Get a gander of the Miami River views on the slideshow at IlGabbianoMIami.com
Red The Steakhouse (119 Washington Ave; South Beach; 305.534.3688) The luxe red vibe'll match the roses you forgot to get and they'll hook your girl up with a box of chocolate truffles, as you enjoy their menu full of stuff to share like cute people, such as a porterhouse or a whole Maine lobster, ensuring you end the night with at least some tail.
Roses are red, and so is the steakhouse. See the menu, at RedTheSteakhouse.com
The Forge (432 41st St; Miami Beach; 33140; 305.538.8533) Surround her with Alice In Wonderland-ish elegance, avoid at least one form of commitment by using their enomatic wine system to sample 80 vinos, and get cozy in a semi-private alcove table, just in case your privates are semi.
Look for your nook, at TheForge.com
The Dining Room @ The Villa By Barton G (1116 Ocean Dr; South Beach; 305.576.8003) Versace's got enough Old World charm to trick any girl into thinking you might be cool, plus a new a la carte menu from Trump's ex-personal chef, featuring dishes like soy-cured bigeye tuna w/ shimeji 'shrooms & compressed cucumber -- which is hopefully just a menu description and not a premonition.
Check out the freedom of choice, at TheVillabyBartonG.com