1901 at Andaz Gets Artsy (Andaz Hotel: 40 Liverpool Street; EC2M 7QN; 0207 618 7000)The stained-glass-happy Victorian dining room is offering a 4-course Brit-feast, plus immortalization, as celebrated Lucian Freud-esque artist Rebecca Ivatts will produce a romantic sketch of you + yours locking lips that you can take away that night, or have upgraded into a full-colour canvas, thus fully capturing the red of your shame!
We've got a couple of spots reserved for Thrillisters -- head to AndazDining.com for the resto, or RebeccaIvatts.com to see the artis
Clos Maggiores As She Likes It (33 King St; WC2E 8; 0207 379 9696) The open-fireplaced, romance-is-our-business French resto will enhance your love-fest via their "Maitre d'Amour", who'll put your date's favourite meal on the menu, fill your area with her preferred blooms, have a live string quartet play her most cherished songs, or even create a bespoke chocolate box and hide an engagement ring inside -- hopefully not too well, else she pops a button before you pop the question.
Get in touch quickly to grab reserved Thrillist seats; more info at ClosMaggiore.com
Rotunda + Verse (Kings Place 90 York Way; N1 9AG; 0207 014 2840) The waterside resto's presenting a four-course menu filled with hand-reared beef and lamb from the spot's own Northumberland farm (so at least you're guaranteed one rack), and'll have vaunted young romantic poet Molly Naylor performing throughout the evening, as well as writing bespoke poems for diners -- go this route, and she'll think that you-the-mandias.
There's V-Day seating set aside for you, dear reader, over at RotundaBarAndRestaurant.co.uk, and peep the poet herself at MollyNaylor.com
The River Room at The Gun (27 Coldharbour; E14 9NS; 0207 515 5222)The Gun will ferry you over to their Thames-abutting River Room, greet you with Champagne, then set you off on a five-course adventure featuring the likes of Wright Brothers oysters, Yorkshire hen pheasant, etc. They'll also table-mix a Champagne/homemade rosebud syrup "Love Potion", hand over a dozen roses, Charbonnel & Walker truffles, and a "snuggling" blanket, plus play your choice of rom-com on an overhead plasma -- if all that crap doesn't work, the 40 Year Old Virgin is you.
Get every inch of your evening taken care of at TheGunDocklands.com
Flash-Sushi Naked Love Fest (Secret Location)Flash's "Nyotaimori" Valentine's event will feature a pair of utterly nude, "stunning" Hakada models literally covered with a 10-course feast from Nobu's suppliers, plus complimentary Champagne, sake, wine & spirits. The Zone 1 location will only be revealed 24 hours prior via text, and strict rules apply: black tie, no mobiles/cameras, and no talking to the models, as "how's the tuna?" is just too easy to misinterpret.
Find out what else they're flashing at Flash-Sushi.com
Lainston House Valentine's Ball (Woodman Lane; Sparsholt; Winchester; SO21 2LT; 01962 776 088) Hampshire's vast, 17thc Lainston House -- surrounded by 63 acres of parkland, with a 12thc chapel, and a bird-dwelling dovecote -- will be hosting a Champagne reception, a candlelit five-courser for two (marinated salmon, pork loin, chocolate tasting, etc.), and a live band playing 'til midnight, by which point it shouldn't be necessary to slipper anything into a glass.
It's a romantic-as-all-hell hotel too! Stay the night at LainstonHouse.com.