While hitting the Miami nightlife can be the greatest time in the world, it can also get exhausting, especially when you're trying to keep up with that oh-so-energetic Bolivia Newton-John. Getting some relief for at least your shoulders, the lovely massage specialists from AngelSquads.
Because it's better than accepting the same offer from Shiny-Shirt Dude, AS's "Massage Angels" are a select crew of 20 genetically quite-lucky, wing-clad ladies floating around select Miami party hotspots to deliver everything from gentle(ish) neck-wringing to skull-crushing Indian head massages; the best part is, the work's 100% free, as long as you tip them whatever you think it's worth, while doing your best to avoid any "just the tip" jokes. Meet some of the sexy shiatsu-ists!:
Francesca: This Italian import with blonde locks, a criminal justice degree, and mean Pasta al Forno skills also dances at spots around town like Mint; her trademark's the "Tiger Claw", a salon-shampoo-style technique she uses to complete her "Chill Massage", not to be confused with the "Chili Massage", which weirdly focuses only on the area above your Left Eye.
Kaitlin: Hailing from Estonia via Rome, her deceivingly slender arms are "freakishly strong", she uses them to specialize in shiatsu techniques. She's also trilingual, which means she'll try anything lingual...haha, just kidding, she finds Russian very coarse.
Brianna: She's finishing up her bachelor's degrees in philosophy and economics from the University of British Columbia (online, what!). Her specialty's the full-hand neck-grab and thumb press, also what Mike Katz does to ensure that stinking Ken Waller isn't ever able to get that t-shirt away from him again. Good luck, Mike.
You can also book the girls for your own private events, and to get yourself a little club-rubbin' you just gotta show up at any of the joints on their schedule, including Coco de Ville on Mon, SET from Thurs-Sun, and on Wed, Rok Bar, a place you actually haven't been to in a while, after getting hopelessly devoted to glue.