Test your mettle/sanity by competing in this military-style obstacle course designed by British Special Forces, who're avenging that whole Revolutionary War snafu with an event that supremely punishes participants across America. You'll face fire(!), 10,000 volts of electroshock, mud-coated walls, and 17 other equally awesome obstacles all guaranteed to be even tougher than finding the perfect level of light/dark on your toaster.
After Which: An official Dos Equis Post Party, where you'll score a complimentary beer and, if you so choose, a complimentary Tough Mudder tattoo that'll officially make you a bad mudder fudder.
What Thrillist Throws In: Endless encouragement that "You can do it!", plus $5 off your registration with the code "ThrillistMudder25".
The bowels of hell, just kidding there's not one in Cleveland yet, but the closest Tough Mudder to you is Snow Valley.
When you finally man up, which hopefully is before Saturday, May 28th and Sunday, May 29th.
How: If fire, electroshocks, and a tight-rope challenge called, "The Ball Shrinker," are your cup of tea...then you drink some crazy-ass tea, and you should sign up here.
Sign up for the Ironman-meets-Burning-Man challenge here.