Because Louis C.K. has apparently emboldened the everyman to crap all over that which craps on him -- his baby -- you now have the objectionable pleasure of A**hole Baby, a blog from a clueless, fresh-faced parent hellbent on proving his three-month-old daughter is a huge jerk. To discover whether this former "26-year-old guy enjoying life and the party scene" ever realizes that the huge jerk is he, you'll have to follow a journey filled with revelations concerning:
Sleeping: "She woke up 3 times with piss in her diaper. Four times to eat. One time because she thought 3am is just when you're supposed to wake up. One time because she wanted me to clean up the steamy dump she took in her diaper. When people say 'I slept like a baby', I want to kick them in the throat."
Evolution: "I am WAY not happy with how my relationship with vaginas has changed over the last 3 months. Now all I do is clean them. Like some weird vagina janitor."
Pooping: "By my estimates, I have taken 15,056.25 sh*ts in my lifetime...out of that enormous number, I can not think of one time where I managed to sh*t inside my own belly button. A**hole thing to do in my opinion." Though anyone who hasn't pooped in their own belly button clearly hasn't truly enjoyed the party scene.