Some places are impossible to get reservations at, because they're incredibly famous, or incredibly fictional, or both. Now the guys behind Boujis are bringing American Psycho's very exclusive fiction to life: Dorsia, open, and willing to talk to your high-heeled secretary about table reservations.
The venue is a Georgian townhouse, it has an Italian marble staircase leading up to the dining room. The decor is impeccable, elegant ("is that Ivana Trump? False alarm, it's a leather armchair") with art from Soho's Whisper Gallery, a crystal chandelier, tables draped in crisp white linens, and chairs with a tastefully subtle off-brown colouration… oh god… they even have a watermark… wait, no, someone just spilled a drink.
On the menu this (and every) evening, there's a home-cured salmon with teriyaki sauce, citrus air, and tomato & coriander jelly to start (the roasted scallops with crispy pancetta & pea foam is outrageous here), and for mains may we suggest the venison with chilli and chocolate pudding, or perhaps the pigeon with pomme dauphinoise (you were expecting a dog, a little Chow or something?).
The very fine cocktail you're not drinking (yet) in the downstairs onyx-topped bar probably has Grey Goose, pomegranate, creme de mure, and Moet, and is called Bateman Is Shot; or perhaps it's simply the Carruthers Brother, with Chivas, bitters, lemon, peach & orgeat, or the Paul Allen Mary, made to a secret recipe, so he really is just in London.
Going further down, one finds the members club area, with its own dance floor, DJ booth, and honesty bar (as if they'd believe you), as well as a smoking terrace outside, because the most impossible place to get into is always one that allows cigarettes.