Sex + Dating

Online courtship for Generation Smartass

Looking for a relationship, but not looking to act like the sort of jackass that looks for a relationship? Try Nerve Dating: a new service from the publication that pioneered intelligently naughty writing online, that aims to out-relevant other romance sites by facilitating blessedly casual chatting even among those desperate to get married, have babies, and then have that to hilariously complain about.

Just sign up with your email address (optimally @hotmale) to browse invisibly, then shimmer into e-existence by filling out a profile that skips the ponderous/deceitful "About Me" tack in favor of just covering basics including body type ("skinny" to "great personality") and drinking habits ("never" to "like Hemingway in Paris", in which case your body type should be "I've put on some Ezra Pounds").

Start interacting with features such as "Last Night", where you essentially tweet about your evening for others to comment on ("listened to Weeknd and Joy Division, it was good running music"); "Opinions" with its pop-culture multiple choice q's ("Who's your favorite Cheers character?"); and cleverness-revealing Q&As like "You come into possession of a comically over-sized bag of money. How do you spend it?" -- you can practically feel your fingers typing "s-t-r-i-p..." right now, can't you?

Contact people whenever you want by "noticing" them (like a poke) or messaging them. If you're shy, you can favorite users, then contact them later, once you work up the... Nerve. Do it, jackass!