A woman of the corn
Proving that Fat Joe isn't the only one who can get get get it popping (then, eventually become really overweight): Stella*s PopKern, a kernel-crafting bright yellow food truck now making DC's streets extremely thirsty via specialty 'corn the surprisingly svelte owner grew to love after being raised on perfectly normal "popcorn dinners". Available small or large, flavors include:
Sweet: The brown and white sugar-loaded varietals are all cooked up before she heads out, and run from a dark chocolate drizzle with Brazilian sea salt and homemade caramel, to a split between caramel on top and white cheddar on the bottom, which she suggests you shake vigorously, so it must be her money maker.
Savory: The cheese and butter for these puppies are melted, fondue-style, in the truck before being tossed into the corn in front of you to make styles like basil olive oil w/ Thai ginger-infused sea salt, a zesty white cheddar, and a rosemary salt w/ Tuscan herb, aka the guy who wears Tevas with socks while walking around his majestic country villa.
And because it's not a party until someone eats some popcorn, hit her up 24/7 to secure catering for an event, which really has nothing to do with Fat Joe at all, so, sorry if you were expecting some Big Pun.