Light one up

Impress Lil Jon enough to make him say “Watt?!? Yeahhhhh!!” with Menlo Park Lamps, whose nostalgia-inducers are handmade by an ATL couple from solid blocks of hardwood and provide illumination via antique-looking Edison bulbs, which’s why they're named for the place where Thomas patented 400+ inventions and earned the nickname "The Wizard", even though the Tanooki Suit was somehow not one of those inventions.

Single: The 6in-tall vertical version comes complete with a nifty toggle switch and is made of cherry, although it doesn’t take an Eagle Eye to realize these will last much longer than any song that dude ever sang.

Multiple: Available with two or three 40w bulbs, this horizontal walnut piece has a guitar-style gold dial, and a vintage gold-cloth-wrapped power cord and plug, making you look like a Prince, Paul.

Custom: Message them to start a one-off lamp, made from your choice of rare woods like ambrosia maple, and with as many Edison bulbs as you wish in all manner of shapes, including funnel, long/skinny, and round/fat, which also describes a certain mustachioed plumber who will love these lamps too, mainly because he's on mushrooms.