If you're no longer getting anything productive out of your boring old log-rolling-fitness routine, stop getting workout advice from Canadians, and start getting it from PEAR -- "a biofeedback training system" that syncs your iPod and uses a heart rate monitor and alien-sounding "foot pod" to measure your "body's response to a workout", as everyone already knows your brain's response is "I'm only doing this so I can eat six Double-Doubles".
It works like this: first ask Jerry O'Connell how to slide into their online "PEAR portal" and enter your height, weight, etc., do a 20min assessment workout to determine fitness/heart rate, then enter your goals (run a marathon, get faster, lose weight, eat seven Double-Doubles, etc.), and PEAR designs a tailored workout plan formulated by "world class coaches" using wizard science algorithms. Once you've done that, sync up the twice-the-size-of-a-Shuffle device, plug it into your iPod, and attach their "Secure Fit Sport Earphones", heart rate monitor & foot pod, and it'll assess your workout in real time and use audio coaching to let you know if you're on/off pace using phrases like "Speed up to Zone 4 for 15min" or "you're in the right zone" or "Remember that hilarious Zone diet? Don't use that".
After you're done with your workout, plug your PEAR back in your computer so you can analyze your workouts, get tips and advice from pros, and even pimp your results on Facebook, if only to let those log-rollin' Canadians know you "no longer love them hosers".
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