From willing girls to available food, late-night options are generally greasy, unsavory things that you'll regret in the morning as you sit there uncomfortably, waiting for them to exit. For something heavy you can at least feel good about taking down, try Shaggy's Famous Poutine.
From a couple of Ontarians who grew up eating the fries/ cheese curds/ gravy staple, Shaggy's slops out the late-night snack heaped with tons of hot & cold toppings and sauces from a food stand in a 50-plus seat food court in Boulder's The Hill, despite those being more famously known for hamburger. Become fat efficiently by lumbering down their gluttonous assembly line: start with a base of seasoned fries & Wisconsin white cheddar curd, then hit one of five sauces (like beef/ chicken gravy, Italian meat sauce, and traditional green chili), cold toppings (like sour cream, guac, and feta), and hot stuff from grilled chicken to meatballs. For those that've been out too late to responsibly select their own toppings, there're 16 cheekily named pre-sets like the "Morning After Shag" (green chili, scrambled eggs, and smoked bacon), the "KamaShagra" (chicken gravy, chicken, bacon, onions), and the Tex Mex-y, green chili/ salsa/ sour cream/ guac/ jalapenos "Not-So-Dirty Sanchez Shag", which is still not a rug you want to buy in white.
While they've got fairly regular hours Mon-Wed (11a-12a), they'll stay open until 3a Thursday through Saturday, so get all filled up late-night, and prevent your usual Sunday morning desire to chew your own arm off.