Hello, sock-scription service
Since your mom apparently "can't do your laundry anymore" because she "lives in Seattle", skip washing your clothes altogether with Sock Panda, a Stunner of the Month-inspired, SF-based sock-scription service that sends you a brand-new pair of foot-koozies every month.
Here's how it works: you'll go online and choose your sock style ("Bold" or "Cool"), size, and gender, then, for $9-a-month, two high-quality frostbite-preventers sourced directly from specialty sock manufacturers will show up on your doorstep, and likely claim to be your long-lost, physically perfect twin sock brother Julius. Ankle-handsomers are chosen by the SP crew and almost entirely based on your style choice -- "Cool" features work-approp tubes in argyle & stripes, while "Bold" features work-approp-if-by-work-you-mean-sitting-in-Dolores-Park-tuning-your-sitar pairs with monster trucks, hamburgers, roosters, and, shockingly, green lightning bolts.
In the future, they're also planning on introducing a super-classy "Dress" option, plus further down the line, they'll add the ability to rate previous socks to better curate the next round, assuming they don't "up and move to Seattle to live with Tony, who keeps creepily friending you on Facebook even though you're all 'chill out Tony, I hardly even know you'".