Food & Drink

A newfangled beer in an oldfangled can

Despite not being around since the early '70s, the time was obviously right to bring back low gas prices. Wait, what's that? Oh, sorry, that's supposed to read "throwback steel beer cans". Anyway, the dudes behind Two Beers are putting a brand-new pilsner inside those old metal cylinders your dad drank in the woods, which require a special "churchkey" to open, and've been reborn thanks to a PDX designer, and, inexplicably, Adrian Grenier, who, after earning Turtle a cool $3mil on his last alcoholic beverage investment, clearly has an eye for these things.

So by now you're probably wondering, "what's the deal with all this, and does Vince hang out with E in real life?"*. Get clued in on:

The Can: This dense, steel number is the first mass-market flat-top to be introduced since the late '70s, when pull-tab cans became the standard. Its Deal: Made by a 130yr-old Colorado company that's produced 'em since the '30s, flat-top cans act like a mini keg, preventing skunkage, and making it physically possible for that tiny dude Vince definitely doesn't hang out with in real life to do keg stands.

Churchkeys: When monks needed to secure their abbeys/beer, they used keys which were often big and oddly shaped. Their Deal: Today Churchkeys are used to rip two triangular holes (one for drinking, one for airflow) in the top of the can, and, conveniently, come included with each sixer, though, as Philly fans know, you're on your own for shooters.

The Beer: The aforementioned pilsner-style brew is 4.9% ABV and has 29 International Bitterness Units, which pales in comparison to the infinity bitterness units Christopher Hitchens possessed (RIP!). Its Deal: Developed by two PDX home brewers, these suds get their body from the light, grainy malt taste, and their complexity from the Saaz hops, which explains why they've garnered quite the fawning Entourage.

*God, no.