Soundlazer. Is it fair to say that it's exactly what it sounds like? Unless you're both a physicist and a jerk, then yes, it is, because the just-unveiled, checkbook-sized speaker ensures it will only be heard by someone positioned directly in front of it by emitting a focused beam of sound, almost like a las(z)er. What you need to know:
- Really, it shoots the sound at you and you only, so even if some dude is lurking just to your left or right (OH MY GOD LOOK HE'S THERE NOW WHAT DOES HE WANT GO AWAY JEFFREY!), you'll be able to listen to audio privately, without headphones. Headphones are a dead giveaway that you're either being unproductive, or have hideous ear nubs, so this is a pretty good thing.
- You can plug the SL into anything with a headphone jack, though you probably can't plug it directly into Headphone Jack, the movie where Robin Williams looks 70 but still just walks around listening to "Wheels on the Bus".
- It's got a 20-30ft range, so make sure not to shoot it straight into your boss's office and murder him with your Ini Kamoze.
- Oh yeah! It's also got a tilt-able stand, so you can listen to "Dancing on the Ceiling" on the ceiling, or at least you could, if physics would stop being such a jerk.
Lovers Are Making the Pilgrimage to Kiss In This Hidden Alleyway