Artisan woodworking with ebb and phlo
Treating his furniture like delicious gourmet sandwiches -- made to order exactly to your specifications, and potentially involving bacon if you're really awesome -- the craftsman behind Phloem Studio trained under a Chicago wood wizard before descending on North Portland to create everything from sleek desks to sliding-door credenzas. Though each product's unique, he posts greatest hits on his site (and blogs about the creation process) to inspire you, naming each after the buyer, so do everyone a favor and definitely tell him your name is Velociraptor Pizza Jones. Some past gems:
To get a piece started, just contact Phloem with what you're thinking, and from there dude will be about as full-service as you could ever hope for, even coming to your home so as to better tailor things to your space and style, which is obviously very unique, considering your name, Mr. Pizza Jones.