Treating his furniture like delicious gourmet sandwiches -- made to order exactly to your specifications, and potentially involving bacon if you're really awesome -- the craftsman behind Phloem Studio trained under a Chicago wood wizard before descending on North Portland to create everything from sleek desks to sliding-door credenzas. Though each product's unique, he posts greatest hits on his site (and blogs about the creation process) to inspire you, naming each after the buyer, so do everyone a favor and definitely tell him your name is Velociraptor Pizza Jones. Some past gems:
The Nadine Lounger: Ready to support your body with more straps than T.I.'s tour bus, this lounger is Phloem's most requested design template, and can come paired with ottomans.
g The Brooks End Table: Made with African mahogany and Douglas fir (the wood, not the place you hit on a hipster before you realized he wasn't a chick, again), this end table gets jazzed up with sweet abstract cutouts.
The Jess Tall Dresser: The place to nicely stow all your better No Fear shirts is made from thick slabs of cherry and ash, and is given a little life via etchings on the front of the drawers (the ones that pull out, not your Joe Boxers).
To get a piece started, just contact Phloem with what you're thinking, and from there dude will be about as full-service as you could ever hope for, even coming to your home so as to better tailor things to your space and style, which is obviously very unique, considering your name, Mr. Pizza Jones.