This is totally real: HLT's got a new dude offering w/ totally-not-embarrassing man-treatments (50min Mountain Man Massage, 20min Frank Sinatra Facial, Paul Bunyan Pedicure), a take-home over-sized robe, an in-spa scotch cocktail, cigar, and free lunch (wings and beers!), plus, instead of Enya and nature videos, you can choose to listen to Journey while watching ESPN on the flatscreen TVs... until everyone else leaves and you switch back to Enya. Sail away! Sail away! Sail away!