Remember that movie where Benicio Del Toro got lost in the woods near Portland, found an abandoned iron foundry, then made his own knife to fight dudes with guns? Yeah, that was pretty stupid. But also badass. What isn't stupid -- but is certainly badass -- is making your own steel knife with a blacksmithing class taught by Bridgetown Forge. Under the tutelage of the awesomely named ADX member Arnon Kartmazov -- who himself trained under a master of ancient Japanese forging in Sakai-shi -- you'll join the ranks of Conan, Hattori Hanzo, Aragon, and other warriors by rendering a high-carbon steel bar into a Japanese-style
instrument of death chef's knife. And by Crom, is the process steeped in sweat and fire: Over the course of 2.5 days, you'll get the steel red-hot in the fires of Arnon, temper the steel (unlike Shaq, who just ruined it), then hammer it into shape before stamping your initials into the metal. When the steel cools, you then use a water stone to sharpen the edge, then make the thing tough and durable using a method known as clay hardening... also a phrase used to describe Cassius in a Manila strip club. Three class, limited to 6 sharp students this time around, takes place July 13, 14 & 15 (so remember to add it to My Thrillist), and this fall Arnon's also hosting basic blacksmith and tool-making classes… or if you're too lazy to learn, he sells a wide swath of daggers, butcher blades, and other knives in house, so if you're being pursued through the woods by Tommy Lee Jones, you might be better off stopping at the Forge than some random foundry in Oregon City.