Not just how you'd phonetically spell out a particularly bad sneeze, Hakkasan is also the SF edition of the lauded, high-end Chinese establishments already in New York, London, Vegas, and Dubai
With seating for 170, the main dining room has latticework views of Market and Geary, illuminated tables, and seats embroidered with dragons not named Billy or Jimmy
There're two private rooms available, one complete with the first-ever-for-a-Hakkasan giant Lazy Susan, three words that are finally totally cool to use around Tim Robbins
Speaking of getting giant, check starters like this roasted duck and pumpkin puff, which's appropriately shaped like one of those two things
There's also a traditional dim sum platter you're gonna want to get sum of
Or these carrots that aren't really carrots (cue head-exploding hand gestures)
Here's a (ugh) salad which hides a ton of delicious crispy duck (yay!) underneath its greens
And here's stir-fry monkfish in spicy black bean sauce that's cupped in a completely-inedible-looking-but-actually-edible squid ink basket
This Jasmine tea-smoked short-rib might leave you reconsidering your opinion on tea
And this braised squid is topped with, you guessed it, a delicious mash-up of potato chips and waffle fries
What's that? Sir Mix-A-Lot is joining you for dinner? Well, then you're gonna want to get this aged vinegar pork belly, with buns, son
Also check out this Hot Wheels loop-de-loop-accompanied lobster in a sweet-and-spicy cashew nut fry
But only after you ask them to infuse smoke into your Negroni, only partly because the show is amazing
Plus their blue-lit bartop makes the finished drink look pretty sweet
Something else that looks pretty sweet? This coconut pudding that's almost too beautiful to eat... almost.
