Holiday gift-giving has come and gone, leaving only a precious few days left to give back to that paragon of modern masculine success: you, obviously.
Pick up a bottle of Carnivor Cabernet, exclusively available in cities as irrefutably awesome as Denver. Big and bold, its toasty flavors of oak, espresso, and chocolate bring an edge to the dark jammy fruit, and the finish is so worthy of celebrating that this deep purple vino would toast itself if it could.
So fill your glass with Carnivor Cabernet, then proceed to raise it to that king of kings, that sultan of swag (read: you), and be sure to pour a couple more for some VIPs (read: basically anyone who knows you). Cheers!