The Burger Joint Old Town

Opening today, the Joint's a purple-walled, homeroom-chaired diner rocking with wall-mounted guitars and album cover paintings (Chicago, Springsteen's butt!); the menu's the same as their Bethesda location, from the applewood smoked bacon "Burger", to the slow-roasted pork/Serrano ham/Swiss "Cuban"; to the Throwdown with Bobby Flay-winning, ground lamb/cumin/mint/tzatziki/feta "Greek"; to the disturbingly literal "9 Pounder": actually weighing in at 15.4lbs after giant bun, 2 heads of lettuce, 8 tomatoes, 3 red onions, and 4 whole pickles, it's served with a bottle of Maalox, and a lifetime of celibacy.