Smuggling booze into certain places is tricky -- for instance, flasks can't get past metal detectors or pat-downs, which is terrible, because that school from Dangerous Minds totally sucks sober. Turning your crotch into awesomely sneaky bev storage, the Freedom Flask.
Like a beautiful gift from the boozy future, Freedom's a stealthy, groin-positioned I.V.-like bag that lets you smuggle a fifth of hooch into anywhere and access it once inside, devised by a UGA grad frustrated with other methods of drink-sneaking at football games, and who says he would've launched the product in 2001, but "wasn't focused enough", proving he had no problem drinking heavily somewhere. To commence covert imbibing, pour the sauce into a fill valve at the top, fasten the 40" belt around your waist, and tuck the bag under your jeans; when ready to guzzle, pull the drain valve from your open zipper, twist the top to pour, and tell the officer to chill out, you're just publicly pissing in your half-empty Coke Zero. The sturdy medical-grade components (heavy-duty vinyl bag, valves from medical supply company) are easily cleaned by hand or in the top rack of a dishwasher, and can withstand literally a ton of pressure, so they're clearly not made of Billy Wagner.
By the end of June, Flask'll offer a 12" belt extender for big & possibly tall customers, and this Fall, they plan to release a custom-fit neoprene sleeve that'll provide bevvy insulation, accomplishing a crucial task -- keeping your hooch Coolio.