Sick of bi-weekly Trader Joe’s wine runs and the ensuing hangovers from Two-Buck Chuck? Buy a vineyard! No, really, for the amount of crappy vino you buy on the reg + the cost of your rent, you may as well have a backyard full of free booze. Welcome to the lush life.
Nashville Absinthe Cocktails & the Hottest Chicken (Literally)
Where: La Madera, NM How much: $449,000 Number of rooms: Six (three in the main house and three in the guest house) Acreage: 6.91 Most baller amenity (besides the vineyard): We've already pointed out that you've got an entirely separate house for guests. But you've also got five and a half bathrooms -- the half exists solely for disposing of bad bottles of plonk. Or good ones. Why? Because you can. All you'll be drinking: Any kind of French-Hybrid grape varietals.
Where: Paarl, South Africa How much: $739,638 Number of bedrooms: Three Acreage: 25 Most baller amenity (besides the vineyard): This equestrian-friendly vineyard comes with six stables and a dressage arena (that's horse dancing to you). Asides from wine, there’s also more than a thousand organic lemon trees and over 500 olive trees. Smell a side business? All you'll be drinking: Chenin Blanc.
Where: Nanaimo, Canada How much: $816,618 Number of bedrooms: Three Acreage: 7.7 Most baller amenity (besides the vineyard):Canada doesn't do baller. Just enjoy owning your own effin' vineyard. All you'll be drinking: Pinot Noir, Dunkelfelder, Chardonnay, Bacchus, and Siegerrebe. You're also privvy to some weird dark red champagne experiment.
Where: Corvallis, OR How much: $849,000 Number of bedrooms: Three Acreage: 11.11 Most baller amenity (besides the vineyard): Lure the ladies in with this gem: “I have a fireplace that opens onto a covered deck with a hot tub and BBQ”. All you'll be drinking: Pinot Noir, Chardonnay, Pinot Gris, Gewürztraminer, and Pinot Blanc.
Where: Russellville, TN How much: $950,000 Number of bedrooms: Four Acerage: 15.8 Most baller amenity (besides the vineyard): You now have a seven-bay garage. Gone are the days of owning just oneridiculous ride -- now that you live in Tennessee and sell your own vino, you can afford one for every day of the week. All you'll be drinking: Riesling, Stuben, Traminette, Catawba, Concord, and Muscadine.