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Get a custom suit while swilling Scotch

Because having a customs fit generally results in the authorities detaining you on suspicion of trafficking bad fruit, get a custom one at Hideoki Bespoke, a by-appointment-only tailoring studio that will ply you with enough classy booze to ensure you're ok with a man measuring things around your crotch

Have a seat in their lounge area to meet with a consultant and discuss your personality, career, family, and other really probing stuff that may or may not have to do with suits over Scotch on the rocks, or a "Gingham" with gin & champagne

Then you'll be guided through creating a custom look -- first pick fabrics from the finest mills including Dormeuil, Zegna, and Loro Piana, then work in stitching in every color imaginable, plus nuanced style elements like the lapel width, inner lining (go with silver for hilarious jokes), and even the type of pockets

Step up on the pedestal and prepare to get 50 exact measurements taken to ensure the suit you just designed fits like a glove, except not, because a glove would be really tight if you tried to stretch it over your whole body

They'll also keep your specs in their database, from measurements, to specific patterns you're into, to previous orders, none of which hopefully were "drop the nectarines, NOW!!".