Throw out the Mongoose and hit Colorado Cycling Connection, a bike shop run by Wade, a former pro downhill racer who can help you choose the right ride for you, then service it once you crash into a Cadillac Brougham on Colfax
This beaut is a BMC Race Machine 1, a Swiss-made road bike that'll set you back a cool $5999. It's basically the Ferrari of bikes, and provides a "fast and comfortable" ride for nearly $494001 less than an actual Ferrari
Come springtime, this all-mountain Cannondale Claymore with Fox-tuned suspension (contrary to the name, it won't lean right) will be ideal for riding bike parks and the backcountry
An urban bike made for LoHi's hills, the Schwinn 411 has an internal 5-speed hub, disc brakes, and a basket that'll snugly fit any 6-pack not attached to Eric Nies
The owner's spent time as a mechanic for a pro team outta Summit County, giving him the skills to do anything from bike overhauls and refurbishments to fixing flats for amateurs like you
Wade's specialty is custom wheel-building, which'll help since bikes don't always come with tires that fit CO's unique terrain
Accessorize with one of 20 styles of nicely sneakerized clip-shoes from DZR, 5-10, and North Wave, plus performance/ lifestyle apparel, now that you've decided to embrace one that involves those hats with the little flip-up brim.