Lifestyle

Grooming Guide: September's 8 Essential Toiletries

Everybody showers (we hope), shaves (if required), and generally cares to not give off an overwhelming vibe of homelessness. Here, we want to let you in on the best products out there, ones that might make keeping your sh*t together a little easier. For September, it's all about convenience and dealing with stress. Summer's more or less over as of Labor Day, so most of us will be spending a large chunk of our time back at our offices, or on the commute there. These eight will keep you looking and feeling up to snuff.

HYD for Men Buffer Stick - $24.99
More time at the office means more time spent shaving for the office. This citrusy-smelling anti-ingrown hair buffer stick makes sure your face stays smooth, and that you're not showing up at the office looking like a pubescent middle-schooler. Apply it in a circular motion to your face after washing and/or shaving. It does a good job of exfoliating without over-drying. They recommend once-a-week. We'd say once every few days if you're shaving regularly.

Blackbird Beard Oil - $38.00
But maybe you're not shaving regularly. After all, you can finally grow that beard that you tried so hard to squeeze out in college β€” and you're sure as hell not going to let the "real world" take it away. You do, however, appreciate an office is not the best place for your Joaquin Phoenix impression. This basically conditions the scraggly, coarse hairs, and ensures that your skin doesn't dry out. Just massage some in after you've done everything else you do to get ready. You're less itchy, your beard less smelly, and your coworkers less frightened.

Polaar Icy Magic Eye Patch - $25 (Month's Treatment)
Long nights? This repackaging of Polaar's successful Icy Magic formula into portable two-packs puts super-botanics from the harsh Polar region at your fingertips. Throw it on in the morning when getting dressed. It offers a rather refreshing cooling sensation when you put it on, waking you up if you weren't already. And in a couple weeks time it'll tone and reduce the dark circles/puffiness from out beneath your eyes.

Ernest Supplies Soap-Free Gel Face Wash, Protective Matte Moisturizer - $18.50, $25.00
Long nights become longer nights, and soon you're living at the office. But you never know when that's going to be. This one-two punch of face care slips easily into your briefcase, satchel, whatever you're lugging around β€” so you're at least looking fresh when presentation time comes. The minty (with a hint of lemon) soap-free gel keeps the moisture in your skin while the moisturizer boosts and maintains it.

The Motley Atlas Cologne - $45.00
Regular showers and deodorant only get you so far when you have the stress sweats, or perhaps had a big steak power lunch with garlic mashed potatoes. Smelling a little, er, off? Dab on some of this subtle scent. It'll not only mask the stench, but will take you from the office and deep into pine-fragranced woods.

Buckler's Chapped Skin Remedy - $22.00
Chapped lips are a real b*tch. So is chapped skin β€” which copious amounts of stress can cause, along with the air conditioning blasting on you during these waning days of summer. Put a bottle of this in your desk and apply to scratchy elbows. The stuff rubs in pretty easily, and doesn't leave that oily feeling (like a lot of lotions). Plus, it won't make you smell like your grandmother's potpourri.

Billy Jealousy Hair Raiser - $75.00
Stress also makes you want to pull your hair out β€” or make it simply fall out. Effectively a leave-in conditioner, this doubles as product/gel/mousse. We put it in a couple times and it dried with our hair, keeping its shape while still being soft. While there wasn't enough time to see if it'd grow that old high school flow, this trial came with the best story. Apparently a soldier oversees kept sending for bottles of it. He was getting married when he returned, and was afraid that his sweat, compounded by his helmet, would make him bald. If it's good enough for them, it's damn well good enough for us.

Talika Paris Skin Retouch - $49.00
Stress doesn't only give you the sweats, chapped skin, or even grey/less hairs β€” the damn thing can give you wrinkles that make you and your father look like brothers. Doesn't really do much for the career when you look older than your supervisor. This stuff takes care of that. It fills in wrinkles, fine lines, pores and dehydrated lines, but without looking like you're wearing foundation. It's pretty easy to use discreetly, too: run to the bathroom, squeeze some on, rub it in (boy this sounds a little NSFW), and come back looking like a new, much younger man.

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