7 reasons why you definitely need this life-size Mario statue

Attention video game nerds, modern art enthusiasts, and anyone else with $3000 to blow on novelty items: this is a five foot tall Mario statue, and it's for sale. A few possible uses:

  • Mario to your Luigi in the two-person Halloween costume you couldn't convince anyone to join you in
  • A fit model for a new new apparel line for plumbers
  • Oversized doorstop
  • Used like a dreamcatcher, only instead of protecting you from evil spirits while asleep, it'll keep phantom Bowsers and Koopas at bay. Or wait, he might attract them. Either way, worth a shot!
  • Scarecrow
  • Surrogate (mute) therapist
  • Wingman for picking up princesses