It’s Christmas Day -- you’ve got options
You’ve just awakened, Walking Dead style, from a months-long coma on the morning of December 25th. Yes, it’s a triumph of modern science and we’re all happy to see you up and about, but what did you get us for Christmas? You don’t want to show up to your mom’s house empty-handed, even if she did heretofore think you were brain dead
You waited till the last minute, so you'll have to either pay or think more on your gift idea -- or both. The following suggestions can all be purchased and presented on Christmas Day from pharmacies like CVS, Rite Aid and Walgreens, coffee shops, web sites, and restaurants. Creativity is key -- because you don’t want loved ones thinking you’re the kind of a-hole who buys his gifts at drugstores
GIFT CARD GIFT BOX
[We spent $250 to make this box. Click here to learn how to make your own!]
La Roche Posay / Lierac / Vichy skin care collectionsHigher-end creams, masks, toners, and soaps. Toss in a magazine or two for the time she’ll spend waiting for that face mud to flake away her twenties
Every Burt's Bees productMany pharmacies have whole altars dedicated to dozens of Burt’s natural balms, scrubs, lotions, and salves. Buy ‘em all for the wow factor of profligate American excess
Mix-and-Match Shower setHarpers Bazaar, Lemondrop, and Broke Girls Guide all swear by drugstore bath products over the gourmet stuff. Grab a loofa along with Dr. Bronner's soaps, Avalon Organics bath gel, EO tub salts, and Alba body cream. [GIRLS: IS THIS A COMPLETE REGIMEN?]
New York CityReserve an itinerary online, roll up a printout of the flight information and stick it through a stack of Lender’s Bagels, a package of Dr. Scholl’s inserts (the town’s made for walking), or a box from a local pizzeria. Add toiletries and present. Then immediately throw out those awful bagels -- you’re going to New York, for chrissake
ChinaSteam open a fortune cookie from a Chinese restaurant and replace the message inside with something cryptic like, “We’re going to China!” Or add drama by using the fortune to point to further instruction awaiting in a take-out container, in which you can pack the toiletries, a printout of the itinerary, and a breathing mask
CaribbeanAdd to the toiletries some tanning lotion, sunglasses, and anti-diarrheal medication. Roll it all up with your printed itinerary in a beach towel bound in a bow. Garnish by presenting in shorts, a tank top, and a well lotioned nose
Road TripGive away a more affordable getaway by plotting an automotive odyssey on a regional map, then fold it in with some Dramamine, an iPod car adapter or blank CD mix, snacks, wipes, and the As Seen On TV Total Pillow for comfy travel. Then throw the whole lot in a Santa hat from the drugstore’s Seasonal section.
AS SEEN ON TV COLLECTION
AutomotiveFast Brite headlight restorer kit, ShamWow chamois, Flex Seal spray sealant
HomeStretch Genie shot and glove stretcher, InstaBulb stick-up light, OrGREENic fry pan, InstaHang nail driver, Chef Basket metal cooking net, My Cozy Colors laptop desk, Riddex pest control system Sift & Toss cat litter liner, Sticky Buddy lint remover.
KitchenBrita pitcher, Oster blender, Mr. Coffee, toaster, hand mixer, juicer, can opener, rice cooker, heated chip and dip tray, Swiffer sweeper, decorative lantern, candles
ElectronicsSonicare toothbrush, surge protector, Lasko tower heater, Philips clock/dock
You can also purchase Keurig cups or mugs from Dunkin’ Donuts or Starbucks
Combine the pharmacy’s photo developing and frames selection to assemble a heartening home decoration depicting you sticking your finger in Lincoln’s nose at Mount Rushmore.
MOVIE NIGHT KIT
Let us know if you end up gifting any of this stuff -- along with the reaction(s) to it -- in the comments below.