The 8 Most Ridiculous Yachts In The World
What is it with superyachts? What's the big deal? They're just big boats, right? Wrong. Superyachts are some of the most impractical creations mankind has ever had the gall to make. Their price tags read like the GDP of the small island nations they circle. Hell, their fuel costs alone read like the GDP of small island nations—their amenities put five-star hotels to shame, and they are staffed by small armies. A good rule of thumb states that for every year you own a superyacht, you can expect to invest an additional 10% of the build cost in upkeep. For some of the guys below, that could top $60 million a year just to keep the thing floating. And here you are complaining about your cable bill. With the above in mind we set out to round up 8 of the craziest superyachts we could find, arranged by length, notoriety, and outlandishness.
AzzamConstruction Cost: $622 million
Max Speed: 31.5 Knots
Amenities: It’s not unusual for details to take a few years to seep out, but if any of the below are to be an example, this thing is kitted out.
Owner: Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed al Nahyan. He literally owns the UAE. You know the world’s tallest tower? The Burj Khalifa? Yeah, that’s him. Also manages their sovereign fund, which allegedly has some $600 billion in its portfolio. Infinity money.
Claim to Fame: Knocking that punk Roman Abramovich off the number one spot, what a peasant.
EclipseConstruction Cost: $475 million
Max Speed: 25 Knots
Amenities: Missile defense system, armor plating, anti-paparazzi laser field, gym, spa, jacuzzi(s), elevator, helipad(s), swimming pool, movie theater, beach club(?), conference rooms, beauty salon, dance floor(s), childrens' playroom—oh, and a submarine.
Owner: Roman Abramovich. He started off making dolls with his wife in their apartment, and then basically overnight—through political connections and manipulation—became a Governor of Chukotka, owner of the Chelsea Football Club, and the head of a multinational conglomerate with interests in oil, natural resources, and making people disappear.
Claim to Fame: You can rent this beast for the low, low price of $2 million a week.
DubaiConstruction Cost: $622 million
Max Speed: 26 Knots
Amenities: Jacuzzi, helipad, swimming pool
Owner: Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum. He’s the ruler of Dubai, Prime Minister of the UAE, and essentially Khalifa’s best buddy. You can assume they have yacht races on the reg. You can also assume that Khalifa smokes him with Azzam.
Claim to Fame: The yacht was so big that his island “Logo Island” had to be heavily modified to accommodate the size and depth of the boat. Nothing says baller like terraforming your island because your boat is too big.
Al SaidConstruction Cost: $109 million
Max Speed: 25 Knots
Amenities: Jacuzzi, helipad, swimming pool. The usual.
Owner: Sultan Qaboos bin Said. He’s the Sultan of Oman, gaining his wealth when he overthrew his father in a 1970 Palace Coup. He’s the 14th generation descendent of the Al Bu Sa’idi dynasty, which is to say that this guy’s never worried about where his next meal is coming from.
Claim to Fame: Looking like a Carnival™ Cruise Ship.
TopazConstruction Cost: $527 million
Max Speed: 31.5 Knots
Amenities: They’ve packed eight floors in there, so you can be pretty sure this thing has an elevator in addition to all the typical amenities.
Owner: Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan. Surprise, surprise! He’s the Deputy Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates. An impressive title for a guy who attended Santa Barbara Community College in the late ’80s.
Claim to Fame: The boat was designed by a dude who lives in the landlocked British countryside.
Rising SunConstruction Cost: $200 million
Max Speed: 28 Knots
Amenities: Onyx countertops, jacuzzi bathrooms, full gymnasium/spa with sauna, wine cellar, home theater, basketball court, helipad.
Owner: David Geffen. Have you ever heard of The Eagles, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, or Tom Waits? How about Donna Summer, Cher, Elton John, Aerosmith, or Guns N’ Roses? No? Perhaps Little Shop of Horrors, Risky Business, or even Beetlejuice? Chances are you’ve listened, watched, and likely cried to something that Geffen produced.
Claim to Fame: Formerly owned by eccentric billionaire software mogul Larry Ellison who recently traded down to a 360-foot Feadship dubbed Musashi, the sister ship to Mark Cuban’s Ayn Randian yacht, Fountainhead.
Al MirqabConstruction Cost: $200 million
Max Speed: 23 Knots
Amenities: Home theater, several bars, helipad, etc.
Owner: Hamad bin Jassim bin Jaber Al Thani. He’s the recently retired Prime Minister of Qatar, a job which he had for only five years. Fun fact: the dude has 15 children. Live long and prosper bro.
Claim to Fame: Allegedly the yacht was named the second most beautiful yacht in the world, which has to be one of the most annoying distinctions ever.
OctopusConstruction Cost: $200 million
Max Speed: 20 Knots
Amenities: Two helicopters and two submarines because, f*ck yeah, that’s awesome, seven other boats inside of it, jet skis, and a swimming pool.
Owner: Paul Allen. Allen co-founded a little company you might have heard of: Microsoft.
Claim to Fame: Little surprise that Allen has Octopus kitted out with some truly wild tech. Slightly larger surprise that he has it outfitted to be an expedition yacht capable of traveling to some extreme climates for submarine exploration.