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Pink Champagne, love-making chocolate & other gift ideas to get you not-killed

Even though Valentine's Day is a Hallmark-created faux-liday which represents everything that is shallow and rotten in our consumerist society, you can't just gift her your essay lamenting that fact -- that was last year. So try these local gifts instead.Catherinette Snap Wallets DC artisan Catherinette wants to ensure that when your pretty little thang borrows some cash, she'll have a nice $40 single-snap upcycled leather wallet to keep it in.GingerRootDesign.com has them in-store and online1530 U St NW; 202.567.7668SpiceSutraLocal author and chef Monica Bhide partnered up with the everything-sweet experts at Co Co. Sala to infuse this line of four luxury chocolates with aphrodisiac spices (like saffron, green cardamom, and rose preserves), which they're calling SpiceSutra, so prepare to sexily serve them to your GF in all sorts of weird positions and over the course of like seven hours.$30, only available online at CoCoSala.com Feb 4th-6thMy Fair ValentineThe "boutique emporium of epicurean delight" has thrown together an all-pink package that'll have her getting a horribly short haircut and leaving you for Carey Hart being really appreciative in no time. Pink bubble bath, pink cake, and pink sparkling wine.The $65 package is available at SocietyFair.net and at their Alexandria location277 S Washington St; Alexandria; 703.683.3247