Pizza's great because you can put virtually anything on it -- then again, no matter what you put on it, you're still eating pizza, and are horrendously fat. Venturing beyond 'za, West Philly's Demetri's. Twenty-year Greek pizza takeout vets, Demetri Maroulis and son Mike are now serving a wide-ranging, mind-pulverizing, eight-page menu in a 45-seat white tablecloth BYO decked out with cream microsuede banquettes, dark wood wainscoting, and oils of the Greek islands -- Crete, Rhodes, and Lesbos (sound of tittering). While the options start with specialty pies (sirloin steak in creamy peppercorn sauce; pepperoni, sausage, "Philly Steak", bacon), things instantly ramp up with paninis & sandwiches (chicken bacon Dijon, spicy roast beef, BBQ pork, hoagies), as well as calzones/strombolis, gyros, souvlaki, and a choice of eight pastas and 10 sauces, from basics (marinara, Alfredo) to fancier concoctions like Arrabiata (prosciutto & onions in plum tomato) and Carbonara, whose creamy bacon & egg leftovers make for a sophisticated breakfast shake. Other entrées include chicken or veal Marsala, Parmigiano, and Cacciatore; baked lamb or veal with orzo & saffron; seafood dishes (mussels, shrimp marinara, zuppa di pesce w/ shrimp, crab, mussels, clams & scallops); and "specialties" like shrimp & scallops Fra Diablo, chicken Valdostana w/ crab meat and angel hair in sweet vermouth Alfredo sauce, and shrimp and clam/crab meat-abetted scallops Lavorne, which you'll Shirley enjoy. Demetri's also offers breakfast from 7-11am daily, serving up omelets, breakfast sandwiches, pancakes, and French toast. Takeout and delivery's available all day -- but if you're dining on the couch, no matter what you eat it'll only contribute to your horrendous...big bones.