There's nothing more perfect than a beautiful plate of nachos, except maybe your pecs, biceps, triceps, AND deltoids after using rotating handles to do push-ups. You're the best, Mr. Navy SEAL-slash-inventor! Discovering the former for you, you musclebound stud: Nachodelphia. Nachodelphia's the work of a mysterious young Philly chick with an aggressive bowl cut, a sticky caps lock button, and a mission to judge every damn nacho the city has to offer against her ideal of house-made chips, black beans, fresh jalapenos, crema, melty cheese (no whiz!), and just enough salsa, although according to Bruno Tonioli, that's never the case. Recent eating includes The Sidecar Bar and Grill ("Total bum out ... broke most of [the chips] trying to get to the cheese"), El Vez ("THESE NACHOS ARE GOOD!!! ... probably the best chips I've eaten"), and Jose's Mexican Food, about which she says, "I ate these nachos while I was high, and I didn't like them", so apparently she was at a Rockies game. Not only food-focused, she also takes a critical eye towards setting ("I hate bar lighting!!!"), drinks ("go for the Happy Hour specials so you can adequately make a damn fool of yourself"), and local attractions, like those near Los Jalapenos: "Go here and then go to the bar across the street to listen to this old white man play the same country song 4 times in 90 minutes." Or, you know, don't. On occasion, Nachodelph has critiqued other treats, like the nacho pizza at Home Slice, and for some reason, a non-nacho-serving Sonic, a restaurant with which she's now understandably got some beef, although not the kind created by a genius device that works with the natural motion of your arms and shoulders to minimize stress on your body and maximize results.