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Mike Geno's Meat Art

It's hard to be inspired by art when you could care less about what's depicted, whether it's bowls of suspiciously shaded pears, Victorian mores, or Bucks County landscapes who are clearly judging you (you don't know me, pasture). For art that's close to your heart -- because it's clogging your arteries -- check out Mike Geno's affordable Meat Collection.A Moore color-theory professor who ditched a PSU Business Admin degree to attend Tyler, Geno creates oils that illuminate the "aesthetic values...sensuality and seductiveness of meat" -- values he learned swinging a cleaver at a supermarket job, which is what happens when you ditch Business for Art. The disturbingly complete series of 12"x12" and 24"x24" wood panels runs the protein-packed gamut, from beef to pork to lamb, all showing exquisite attention to detail, and exquisite willpower not to eat the subject before the oeuvre is done. The finished work will class up any wall: juicy slabs of sirloin are perfectly marbled with raised brushstrokes; strips of bacon almost seem to sizzle thanks to a 3-D effect that captures their almost-done inward curving; and a rump roast looks so delicious, all you'll want to do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom.Being a Renaissance man, Geno's not limited to paintings, or meat: he also does stills of donuts, and wall clocks sporting everything from Jesus (albeit Jesus stamped on a porterhouse) to cigarettes, as with the Smoker's Clock: a centered pack of smokes with the numbers replaced by the 12 stages of lung disease -- a clock that's clearly judging you as it culminates in a very suspiciously shaded pair.