The Sports Mattress

The right gear can show that you're into sports -- the custom jerseys, the game-used equipment on the mantle -- but no matter what you showcase, nobody's ever gonna believe you're an actual athlete, David Eckstein. But if you somehow are, you need the Sports Mattress

The Sports Mattress is a new (you guessed it!) mattress crafted over in Jersey from patented super-secret guts specifically designed to help athletes of any level rest and recover, ensuring "you always wake up refreshed, invigorated, and ready for the next challenge", which is great, because you'll need your energy for paying attention to exactly how Johnny Bananas is gonna screw over Dunbar this time around. The recovery tech includes a dense spring packing between the shoulders and hips that works to rest the spine and reduce pain/ stiffness; body-contouring foam that reduces motion, cradles your form, and's warm in the winter/ cool in the summer; and a wrapping of moisture-wicking circulation-improving Coolmax, also the original name of the diner in Saved By The Bell, before everyone found out that dude does magic. The patented part is the "Zoned Quilt Technology", which pairs a dense topside quilt pattern (which allows your body to naturally position itself so you don't sink in) with a middle third that keeps your back from getting out of position thanks to latex and visco-elastic memory foam, also what elephants party in during spring break, at Señor Pachyderm's

They've got all the standard sizes plus the dorm-chic, and there're other mattresses including the Class II, which adds more foam for extra cushioning, which is generally something that shows you're no athlete, although presumably still infinitely better at all sports than David Eckstein.