Seattle's newly opened oldest bar

It's inspiring to see former legends return to greatness; like Shawn "the Manchild" Kemp achieving NBA glory with Orlando, despite a 40lb weight gain, 70 illegitimate children, and a debilitatingly accurate nickname. For a return to greatness sans the hassle of paternity tests/girdles, check out The J&M Cafe.

Just reopened/vigorously beautified by the former Fenix owner, the oldest bar in Seattle has a new mammoth wooden main bar and an open kitchen to go with the old charms (its name in stained glass above the door, the antique plaster ceiling, the charmingly cavernous interior), all in an attempt to set the iconic night spot "as it should be", which given its history as a gold rush flop-house, prohibition speakeasy, and illegal brothel can only mean one thing -- rife with the clap sandwiches! Its pub grubtastic menu's built around sandos/burgers, like the bleu cheese/grilled onion stuffed Inside Out Burger, and the JoJo (toasted onion roll bologna/potato salad); there's also classic dinner plates like beer battered Chicken Fried Steak, and a ground lamb/thyme gravy Shepherd's Pie, which, unlike the Alan Shepard's Pie, isn't dehydrated and jealous of Yuri Gagarin. They've also got AM awesome like steak & eggs, Denver & Western omelets, and the hash browns/cheddar/eggs/salsa Pioneer Pile, as well as morning cocktails like Poinsettias, Bloody Marias, and The Coffee Nut, which has been living in bars ever since it sold the Sonics.

If you don't just want to drink in the morning, the J&M's got free-pour wells, a massive liquor selection, and local taps (Manny's, Alaskan); soon they'll be open 24 hours, with plans for a dance floor and a back bar staff of enthralling bartenders/performance artists ("and for my next trick, I'll attempt to get all of your girlfriends pregnant, then disappear to Florida").