Food & Drink

Pre Elephant

The 27th Street club district's metastasizing -- at it's current rate it'll absorb 26th by summer. The two latest arrivals, Pre:Post (opens tonight) and the relocated Pink Elephant (grand opening Thursday, sneaky opening last Thursday), combine perfectly into one marathon evening. Your itinerary

Pre: Convene your squad for dinner and feast on Pre:Post's Daily Pot Pie, or step up to the Steak Frits Gaucho. If you're better than everyone else, isolate yourself and nine friends in a reservable, shearling-upholstered glass chamber. Get primed on the stripper-inspired "Scores" cocktail, made with vodka and fresh plums ("plum" = slang for "woman" back in the '30s, when men wore hats and lap dances cost a nickel)

Pink Elephant: A long, faux-grass-lined tunnel leads you beneath Crobar into this freakishly stylized autonomous joint. Features include a Whitesnake-style wind machine, internationally famous DJs, and the Smell Machine, which sprays scents, aphrodisiacs and pheromones. Custom odors will be available for private parties -- hire a chemist to replicate your personal mung, and guests will feel a primeval urge to buy you deodorant.

Post: Pre:Post serves 'til 6am. If your Elephant hookup's not ready to jump into a cab/bed with you, keep the game going with steak and eggs. Or cake. If she's sworn off latenight gorging in favor of not being fat, suggest a "Detox Drink". For instance, P:P's Red Eye, muscled-up with grated wasabi nuts. There's also an optional Red Bull topping, which we recommend ordering for yourself -- unless you want to sabotage the previous eight hours by passing out in the sack.