Thrillist's Best (and the Rest): The Truth Behind the Saddest Cookbook Ever
Total Time: 5 hours 25 minutes, Active Time: 25 minutes
Yield: Serves 6
- 2.5 pounds beef brisket (To save 5 hours of your time, you can use pre-cooked corned beef lunch meat. But know that you're dead to me.)
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 2 tablespons all-purpose flour
- 6 ounces light beer
- 1 cup whole milk
- ½ teaspoon salt
- ½ teaspoon ground black pepper
- 12 ounces Gruyere cheese, shredded
- 1 ½ cups mayonnaise
- ¾ cup ketchup
- 4 tablespoons Sriracha
- 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
- 2 tablespoons finely minced kosher dill pickles
- 2 tablespoons finely minced white onion
- 2 tablespoons finely minced red bell pepper
- ½ teaspoon chili powder
- 12-ounce bag of tortilla chips (go with your personal fave brand here)
- 15-ounce jar of sauerkraut, drained
- Pickled jalapeños and extra Sriracha for serving
- If you are making the corned beef, heat your oven to 300 degrees, or use a slow cooker on low heat. (If using corned beef lunch meat, just chop it up into small pieces so it can be evenly dispersed among chips.) Place the beef brisket in a deep casserole dish (any size big enough to house the meat works) along with 1 cup of water. Cover tightly with foil then throw in the oven for 5 hours until tender and fully cooked.
- Make your beer cheese sauce! Melt your butter over medium heat in a 5-quart sauce pot, add the flour, and continuously whisk for 4 or 5 minutes, until the mixture turns a light amber color. Add your beer, milk, salt, and pepper. Crank the heat up to high, and whisk for an additional 5 minutes to cook off some of the alcohol. Turn the heat back to medium and add in your cheese. Stir for about 2 minutes until the cheese is melty and fully incorporated. Turn off the heat and reserve the beer cheese sauce.
- Now it's time to make your Sriracha Russian dressing! OK, fine, it's kind of a hybrid Russian and Thousand Island, but whatever. Whisk together mayo, ketchup, Sriracha, Worcestershire, pickles, onion, bell pepper, and chili powder until evenly combined. Cool, that's it.
- Put the sauerkraut in a microwave-safe bowl and nuke it until it's warm (a minute should do). Maybe even hot. This part can be inexact, as long as you don't put ice-cold kraut on your nachos.
- Assemble your feast. Lay out a 16x12-inch baking sheet (or a similarly sized slab for serving) and dump out the entire bag of chips, spreading evenly. Drizzle all of your cheese sauce over the chips, followed by the sauerkraut, followed by shredded corned beef, followed by a heavy dose of that Sriracha Russian dressing. Top it off with pickled jalapeños and more Sriracha because these are nachos god dammit and you gotta bring the heat.