Recipe

We created Beavis' Great Cornholio Burrito

The Great Cornholio Burrito: A Tribute to Beavis and Butt-Head
Drew Swantak and Carrie Dennis

I may be aging myself here, but Beavis and Butt-head had a profound impact on me as a kid. Profound! 

And of course Beavis' Cornholio alter ego loomed large. For those of you who need a genesis refresher, in one episode, the guys visit their friend Stewart, who is home sick. Stewart’s Mom gives Beavis and Butt-head breakfast burritos, which the boys find revolting.

Butt-head: "Ugh! What the hell is this crap? This isn't a burrito."
Beavis: "Yeah. I got eggs in mine! She tricked us!"

So they ransack the kitchen and Beavis inhales all the candy, soda, and junk food in the joint. In class, he starts to spaz out and transforms into his manic alter ego, The Great Cornholio. With his Metallica T-shirt pulled over his head and arms in the air, he terrorizes the school in search of TP for his mighty bunghole. 

So I created this tribute for the episode's 20th anniversary. I imagine this is the burrito of Beavis’ wet dreams: a candy burrito whose "tortilla" is Fruit Roll-Ups, loaded with enough Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers, Twinkies, and other sugar to evoke The Great Cornholio in a single bite. 

I need TP for my bunghole! And you will, too.
Drew Swantak

The Great Cornholio Burrito Recipe

Total Time: 10 minutes
Yield: 1 really potent burrito

INGREDIENTS:
  • 4 Fruit Roll-Ups
  • 2 Fruity Pebbles Treats
  • 3 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
  • 1 Twinkie
  • 6 Snickers Minis
  • 3 tablespoons strawberry jam
  • 1/4 cup jelly beans
  • 2 tablespoons rainbow sprinkles
DIRECTIONS:
  • Unwrap Fruit Roll-Ups and arrange them in a square, with edges overlapping a 1/2 inch. Press to seal edges together.
  • Place Fruity Pebbles Treats side by side lengthwise along the lower third of the Roll-Up. Top with Reese's in an even line. Put the Twinkie on top.
  • Line up Snickers next to the Fruity Pebbles Treats. Top with jam and jelly beans.
  • Pour sprinkles on top of everything.
  • Pick up the bottom edge of the Roll-Up and fold it over the filling, wrapping it tightly. Fold in the ends and roll all the way to the top. Slice in half.
  • Prepare for the worst.