Some people find retirement boring -- actually, now that they're canceling all the soaps, everybody finds it boring. To support a man who's found the answer, head to Alpine Beer Company's new pub.
Alpine was started in '02 by a retired fireman as a tiny, family-run brewery, but quickly outpaced all expectations; buoyed by success, the founder's spent the past year & a half converting an attached local-landmark soda fountain into a Rockwellian beer joint (Norman, not Sam), one-upping the "I'll put soda in the drinking fountains!" promises of student body presidential hopefuls everywhere. They're tapping 13 varieties, including the light, 4.9% ABV American wheat "Willy", the vanilla-infused tweak "Willy Vanilly", and the roasted-malt "Captain Stout"; there's also a mash-up called "The Captain and Vanil", far crisper than its smooth-sailing namesake, whose variety show was un-drinkably flat. Ratcheting it up are the "mega-hopped" 8% ABV Double IPA "Pure Hoppiness", and a couple of Simpsons tributes (Willy's named after a bro-in-law): the New Zealand-hopped, golden rye IPA "Nelson", and "Ned Flanders Red", an angry shade only brought out by the shoddy craftsmanship of altruistic Springfield home builders.
Because no 50s-style brew nook's complete without whiskey-barrel-aged barley wine, they're breaking out their "Great '05" and "Great '09". Because why not, there are also seven vinos by the glass & bottle, from a La Marca sparkling to a zinfandel from Plungerhead -- a reminder to think twice before flushing your career down the toilet.