Irons Situation Control

Americans often prolong careers in Japan: Kevin Mitchell got fat but in Fukuoka his bat remained lively, while Tom Selleck went gray but in Nagoya his mustache remained molest-y. For a gear brand that actually started its career in the East, check out Irons Situation Control

Iron's was originally launched in '01 by a former Alpha Numeric marketer who wanted to make it "big in Japan" before bringing his baby stateside, which he's now done with 10 tee designs that pay homage to a few of his not-particularly-idiosyncratic favorite things: "guns, chicks, tattoos, skateboarding, and music". Heavily armed designs include "Want Some" (with two Sigs tucked into the waistband), "The Original Piece Keepers" featuring a disassembled .45 schematic, and the Apocalypse Now-inspired "Merc", with a piked skull wearing a coolie hat, but not a Coolio hat, because everybody in that movie ends up dred. Rounding out the violence is "Situation Control", sporting crossed Filipino swords with two suns on the handles above three stars for the flag, plus "Sinking the blade into you since '72" (inspired by metalists Early Man), and another number entitled ".45 Queen": a naked broad pointing a .45 -- protection that's almost as terrifying as the NuvaRing

Musical work ranges from a DJ "public service announcement" ("Dont ask me to play S#iT"), to "Bottle Service" (guzzling bird and the Beatnuts lyric "here's a drink to all the girls who act stink"), to "Rockin' Steady" a turntable run by a needle-beaked bird straight out of The Flintstones -- a time when the reptiles were as big as Kevin Mitchell, and Tom Selleck solved crimes as "Magnon, P.I.".