2009, the Year in Headlights

Food: As the starving masses looked on, two paupers warmed their buns between buildings, unaware that just out of earshot gathered dozens to feast in a wondrous shelter from cold on nothing but the heavenly flesh of snaggle-toothed beasts.

Drink: Hard times mean hard boozin', whether with hundreds of staggering like-minded friends, on the high seas suckin' back the sauce of swashbuckling pirates, or simply by not moving a muscle.

Gear: The stylish masses mocked the name your dad gave you, even as they became infatuated with the guy who wiped down your windshield, who paradoxically looked absolutely stunning.

Events: The good people amassed to see masked madmen chase their dreams behind the wheel, while a pair o' broken old men duked it out in the ring, and a merry band of pranksters played grand tunes of Predatory tradition.

Services: Indeed it got easier for the man who yearned to see himself in colorful brilliance, clouds rushing past as he flew higher and higher, while in the pastures below grazed everyone's favorite pint-sized party starter.