When you're in college, you like to imagine your summer job will be something badass, but apparently professional boob holders need like two - four years experience, some sort of certificate and "to be a team player". Sucks. Settling for his next best summer job, the guy behind First Academy Flasks.
A Russian major at Oregon, Elliott Daggett got the idea for tricking out flasks with bizarre images when his own flask was confiscated at the airport, certainly not the first time Russia, alcohol, and the law have intersected. Using decaying, washed out photos he finds at garage sales, Dagget dresses up 6oz. stainless steel booze bottles in a variety of images, including a line of "Americana" with a "stack of ladies" in old-timey swimsuits, a well-dressed man in a blazer firing a gun, and a youngster playing on railroad tracks, or as hobos like to call them "passenger check-in". For the drinker with no taste, there's the "Creepy Children" line, which're ironically decorated with glamour shots of a kid in an argyle sweater, and one with a girl raising her hand that says "KIDDIES", a term especially popular with witches who rely heavily on dwellings made from load-bearing luxury dessert goods.
If flasks aren't your thing, you're a loser, but FA's also got a line of t-shirts sold online, also where you can apply for the boob holding certificate, though they need like three references and a salary history?!? What if you've only worked for your dad?