Unicorns Rock

There are three questions that have always eaten at man's soul: "free will, or determinism?", "higher power, or uncaring void?", and, of course, "what could unicorns do to be more awesome?". Answering that last one, Unicorns Rock.

Arted by a couple of Bellingham buddies, this series of riotously fantastical tees places the world's most enchanting bundles-of-nonsense in all manner of inappropriate contexts, in the process satisfying both your outer-adult and your inner-8-year-old-girl. Printed with a direct-to-garment, water-based-ink process, the $19 numbers kick off with unicorns-behaving-badly: with "Unicorn Passed Out", we learn that even the unseemliest of these magical steeds blesses us (with Technicolor blech and butterfly farts), while "Unicorn Heeey" depicts a stoned, mouth-lolling one-horner beneath a rainbow thought-cloud ("What if I could punch a hole with my horn and make a pipe out of an apple?"). Because unicorns aren't only about getting f'd up, there's also a trio of unicorn zombies savoring leprechaun brains, Jedi unicorns in a forehead-light-saber duel, and an unlucky unicorn being run through a meat-grinder as rainbow tubes spurt out the other end -- the site explains that "in a recession, mythical creatures are the first to go", but maybe it's just because they're magically delicious.

Because additional costs do not cause prancing giddiness, Rock will deliver their stock anywhere in the US with no shipping fee, putting one less barrier between you, and the answer to the question "what could that guy do to be more awesome?": Nothing.