Despite your best efforts to convince her that V-Day's a totally made-up holiday that exploits women and, like, hurts people and stuff, your GF's likely still going to be looking for a little something. And since she already has the first season of One Tree Hill, opt instead for one of these creative, local gifts.
“Love Is Art” Intimate Couples Body-Painting Kit
If you want to get a little bit edgy, snag this Love Is Art paint kit featuring a white cotton canvas, nontoxic paint, and even booties to walk across the floor in after you make sweet paint love. The idea is that you, um, do stuff on the canvas, and the abstract image you create can then be hung up above your bed, and made into a great conversation piece with your parents that will totally not freak them out at all.
Prices are (oddly) dependent on color and range from $60 to $110. See the full spectrum here.
Island Creek’s Take Me Home and Shuck Me Package
You probably already knew that oysters were an aphrodisiac. But what you likely didn't know is the definition of aphrodisiac, which apparently means these things basically give your GF no choice but to do sex with you, because the Greek goddess of doing sex, Aphrodite, guilts them into it or something. So get this $120 package, which consists of 36 Island Creek oysters, an awesome shucking knife, gloves (!), and a special Valentine's Day edition of their tees. Then do the sex, or Aphrodite will freak.
If you couldn't already tell, this package is surefire! Order it now.
Treat Cupcake Bar's Cake Pop Bouquet
Confusingly reference that "have your cake and eat it too" idiom by getting your GF a cake pop bouquet from Treat Cupcake Bar. She'll get a dozen red velvet, chocolate, and vanilla cake pops, all served up in a handsome flower pot with a bow, so she can have her cake and… oh, right.
Seriously, no flowers this year. Don't do it. Put down the phone and order up some cake pops instead.
$45; 1450 Highland Ave, btwn May and Great Plain; Needham; 781.444.4995