Are you single? Do you have two friends who can maintain minimally acceptable eye contact and aren't gross? Are you sure they aren't gross? Well then, Grouper just may be for you. Just now taking applications in Chicago, Grouper is a dating site that rejects the awkward notion of initial one-on-one dates by having the two people being set up each bring two friends, creating a three-on-three scenario that's perfect for pick-up basketball. And also because "you can either talk in three pairs of two, just with your friends, or as a group".
Just sign up, and they'll vet you by staring longingly at your Facebook profile and asking you simple questions that will likely suss out whether or not you're insane. Once your sanity has been verified and you're in, their matchmaking pros analyze you further, studying your profile and those pictures of you pretending like you know how to surf, then pair you with someone from your same generation who shares a similar interest in faux-surfing.
After that, just round up those two not-gross friends, get everyone to pass Grouper $20, and they'll hook up your party of
five six at one of their partnering, actually cool bars, and even pick up the tab (also: tax and tip!) on everyone's first drink, ensuring your buzz is at least at a minimally acceptable level.